I remember the exact moment I realized there was nothing to forgive, and it rocked my world. I was in Grand Haven at a friend's house, and I flipped open a book to the quote "Forgiveness is only necessary if you have judged."
It really just about knocked the wind out of me.
You only feel you need to forgive someone if you came up with the idea that they should have acted differently than they did. Which is ridiculous, because everyone's actions are an exact culmination of all of their life experiences up to that point, and they really couldn't have acted differently in that moment (it was the best they could do at that time.)
And then to take a person, and project your life experiences, your beliefs, ideals, opinions,and values on to them, and say they should have been different?
NONSENSE. (But we all do it. And forgive yourself for thinking you shouldn't have needed to forgive people in the past because you judged them. It was the best you could do at the time. =] )